My family and I have now experienced something which: a)we once thought would never happen to us; and b)tends to be a source of at least passing anxiety for most people at some point in their lives. The fact is that there are more and more of us in this foreclosure boat than ever before. And while I’m sure there are probably foreclosure support groups out there, I never heard of any, likely because people are spending more time trying to dig themselves out of whatever financial hole they found themselves in that led toward their predicament.
But the reality of foreclosure is: a)that no one is alone in that boat, certainly not today, certainly not in this economy; and b)that everyone will respond to their particular situation in their own unique ways. At the worst extreme, I’ve heard one story of a man who, in desperation regarding his family’s situation killed his wife and kids before taking his own life, leaving a note behind shedding light on the depths of hopelessness he had fallen to prompting him to such horrendous acts.
Most of us who share space in that boat, while largely isolated from each other, never come close to such all-consuming feelings of emptiness and despair. Most of us in that boat will ride the waves, the ups and downs from one day to the next that include:
• the work of clawing one’s way up and out of this mire they’re in;
• the glimmer of hope as an opportunity presents itself to pull themselves out of this muck;
• the psychological self-assessments through which one wonders where they went wrong or worse, by which they drag themselves through the mud of self-doubt and shame; or
• the relief of finding out that the bureaucracy of it all lengthens the foreclosure process beyond your initial expectations.
Again, everyone will encounter their own situations in their own unique ways—all I can do is speak to how my family and I dealt with it.
The experience will stretch you out no doubt—you’ll find out things about yourself that you might not have seen otherwise. From a purely practical standpoint, the only way you can successfully navigate the process is with a positive attitude. You cannot spend time wallowing in the negative aspects of it all because this will only spiral you further downward. You will need to learn how to get by on less. And you will do far better learning how to be thankful for what you’ve got, and not dwelling on the things that are lacking.
If you can remember to wake up each morning already thankful for the new day, this can help you frame your approach moving into the day. And while taking on this perspective will never guarantee how the day unfolds or ends, it’s still a whole lot better than drowning in self-pity, wishing things were different. Take charge of your day—focus on the positive and decide to make it a good day; you may be surprised at the benefits taking on this perspective can have.
Essentially, though, along with and beyond this practical approach, experiencing foreclosure was, for me and my kids, a faith journey; and it continues to be. We understand ourselves better; we understand both the imperfection of this human existence, as well as the hope and peace and Spirit that comes, often miraculously, through our focus on God and the goodness, grace, and love that we can only fully understand within that relationship with the Divine.
Take the high road—focus on the things that are truly important. Appreciate the people closest to you, and know that in faith, we’re never given any more than we can handle and will always be able to find the divine resources to help us overcome the adversities of this life.
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