You are in your room

You are in your room

By Dick Jaeger

PREFACE

            After driving my lawn tractor over the foundation wall of the former barn and dropping ten feet to a concrete floor face first, the EMS from Blanchardville took me by ambulance to UW Hospital in Madison.  None of this I remember, but it has been told to me.

            During my two-month stay in hospitals I have had some very strange events happen to me.  Although my wife is involved in some of these events she does not remember them.  I guess her memory is not as good as mine.

            I started in the ER where they tell me my heart stopped for six minutes and I had two heart attacks, and probably some other things that no one wants to talk about.

CHAPTER 1

            The first strange occurrence happened when I was checked into University of Wisconsin Hospital.  They had no room for me so I was assigned into a storage room, also used as a waiting room for family members of employees.  There were also homeless people and unruly kids.  I did not feel safe and I did not like these sub-par accommodations.  When my family left I thought “this is B.S.   I’m leaving.”  And I did.

            Now I’m on the street in an unfamiliar area.  Many people were on this busy street.  I am starting to think maybe leaving was not a very good idea.  It is night, it is cold, and it includes the same type of people I just escaped from.

            I found a spot on a concrete raised area to lie down.  The police came along and took me to their police station.  This too was a dumpy facility, a trailer house under the “L” tracks or under some kind of low roof overhang.  Once in the police trailer no one paid much attention to me so I decided to walk out.

            I ran into Marilyn in the street.  Thinking she would take me home was a mistake – back to the hospital.  The doors were locked and no one would respond to her knocking.  Back to  the street.  This is where I ran into one of the nurses in the hospital.  “Why here?” I thought.  “She never showed up in the hospital when I needed her.”  When I tell her I want a regular room, a different room from the one assigned, her only response was “You are in your room.”

Strange!

CHAPTER 2

            The hospitals are strange places.  Why do they move you around so often?  I have a nice room and boom! Off I go to somewhere else.  Ask a question and I’d get silly answers.  They moved me to a resort camp in Texas, at least that is what I was told or thought.

            It was strange, they had multiple buildings, and we could see cars on a highway in the distance.

            Marc O’Brien and Peg Rausch visited me there.  I was confused they even knew I was in Texas.  I thought Marc was her sister who is a nun in San Antonio, or her sister from St. Louis.  “No,” she said, “I live near Argyle.”  I did not agree.  I couldn’t figure out why she disagreed with me.

            During this time Marilyn is visiting in another room with someone.  Why did these people come all the way to Texas?  Last week they could have seen me in Madison.

            After they left – they didn’t stay long – maybe I was not the best host – I took a nap.  When I awoke, I asked the nurse when we were going back to Wisconsin.  She said, “You are in your room.”  It looked a lot like the room I fell asleep in, in Texas!  Strange things seem to happen to me.  I am confused.

CHAPTER 3

            Somehow I was on a plane flying south to a warm-weather area.  I thought we were going to Phoenix, but there was a big lake or ocean there.

            The flight down was okay.  I do not think I knew anyone.  There were some people sitting immediately in front of us that knew all the answers.  The “us” referred to were unknown people I was sitting with.  Everything was confusing.  When we landed I was told to stay on the plane as this was my room.  After everyone deplaned I asked the cleanup crew when this plane was scheduled to fly again.  I remember they told me 8:30 p.m.  This was about 6 p.m. and the plane was not going back to Wisconsin.  As was my style I got out of there in a hurry.  When I was in the airport no one could help me find my luggage.  They told me to get to my seat.  After much delay I took off.

            There were some vehicles outside and a golf cart.  I figured a golf cart would be the less serious of any of them.  The trouble I had was the golf cart would only go straight or turn right, so I went around and around this building.  I found a boat on a trailer (the body of water was adjacent to the airport building) that looked like a great place to sleep, so I did.

            When I awoke there were people critical of my choice of sleeping accommodations while still in my hospital gown.  Time to leave!  My choices were limited as I had no money or credit card with me.

            I was able to get on a plane back to Madison but when I arrived I realized I had no money for a taxi.  “Give it a try,” I thought, and a kind cabbie drove me back across Madison with the understanding the hospital would like me back so much they would pay the cab fare.  My only other choice, as I recall, I had thought of walking from the airport to the hospital.  You are right: that is a long way in a hospital gown!

            When I arrived back at the hospital I thought they would be happy to see me safe as I thought they had sent me on the trip south.  They were so unhappy with me they put me back in that crummy warehouse room I had spent the first night.

            I wonder if the cabbie ever got paid??

CHAPTER 4

            At Select Specialty Hospital I had a nice room except after a few days people started congregating in my room.  I think they were selling something; maybe it was like stuff brides would need for their wedding.  I was never clear on what was happening.  I tried to ignore the people and the activity.

            What really bugged me were a couple of little girls, 7 or 8 years old, coming to the edge of my bed and making faces at me.  It would not have been so bad but they were inches from my face when I woke up.  I had the feeling they touched my face with a feather or something similar.  I would brush my hand across my face but never felt anything.

            My complaints to the children’s mothers went for naught.

            My complaint to the staff was ignored.  They acted like I was alone in my room.  I think they only sold stuff in my room on weekends.

            You know what really bugged me.  They would turn on the TV talk shows or anything but a ball game!

CHAPTER 5

            While I was at Select Hospital I would comment on their poor housekeeping.  Every time I looked at the floor of my room or in the hall when we walked, I would see plastic tubing on the floor.  I’d push at it with my cane, but never felt anything.  I was confused.

CHAPTER 6

            Early one evening the nurse got three of us together and told us we were going to the church in the neighborhood.  I thought they were going to administer the last rites.  We were led into the basement of this old church.  It was like a cave with a big wooden round table set off near a corner.  We were seated around the table.  The old priest was behind us, and we couldn’t see his helpers either.  They kept to the background.

            We were asked to tell the three things we would miss at mass after we died.  I rebelled a little.  I thought, “This is the dumbest thing.”  I told them “the host, body of Christ.”  I did not want to give them the satisfaction of telling them “the blood of Jesus” as the Madison Diocese doesn’t believe lay people should be offered the Blood of Christ every day or every weekend.  After that I clammed up and was going to wait them out.  I dozed off.  When I awoke one of my wrists was attached to the table by a strap.  I sensed the priest still behind me.  I went back to sleep.

            When I woke up again my wrist was freed and I was all alone.  I investigated the basement.  It sure seemed like a cave.  The only lighting came from a few candles.

            I can’t remember what happened next, but later I awoke in my hospital room and people were coming in again to start selling stuff.  I should have left again, but I did not like my experience in the church basement/cave.  Those people were weird.

CHAPTER 7

            This chapter is short.  I do not know what exactly happened so do not expect the detail of some of my other experiences.

            One evening two men came into my room.  I know there were others in the hall.  They told me they needed me to assist them in some undercover operation.  I figured it had something to do with my street experience in Chapter 1.  No one would tell me my role.  Off we go.  This was so undercover there was no car, no nothing.

            The next thing I know we are back at the hospital with me being thanked for my great help.  I knew undercover work was secret, but to have finished a job and not realize even being involved was more than I could understand.  When they me left they told me, “Do not tell anyone about this operation”, so I’ve just completed a chapter of not telling the reader anything.

CHAPTER 8

            One of the doctors I had after my accident was so famous he had offices in Madison and New Jersey.  Since his Madison office had no appointment times available we decided to go to New Jersey to see him.  We flew out.  Dan Truttmann had a business out there and told us we could use one of his little cottages.  This worked well, as it included a little car, a silver convertible.  We awoke early and decided to drive around, get the lay of the land.  There was snow on the ground so we were happy no one else was on the road (remember, we are driving a convertible, and I like the top down!)  We found this resort area with very nice, small cottages.  All of a sudden Marilyn turns into this driveway and into an open garage.  She said, “This is the house number of the doctor’s office.”  The garage door closes and “puff!” we are in his waiting room, still in the convertible. 

            When I asked the nurse where we were, she said, “You are in your room.”  There are all kinds of people around.  I think they are smoking funny cigarettes and something strange is going on.  I was really confused.  I do not know if I ever did see the doctor.  The one guy who talked to me said he was the doctor but he seemed as weird as all the others.

            Marilyn came back from somewhere else to this office/cabin/garage.  I said, “Let’s get out of here.”

            We flew back to Madison.  I don’t remember this.  I was to go into UW Hospital.  The gurney I was on was taken up a steep incline on a cable car.  Near the top we had to take the elevator.

            Since I had left the hospital to go to New Jersey without approval they did not want to let me back in.  We worked that out.  The nurse that was to remove my catheter was not successful.  I had to leave the hospital with a catheter the same way we came in.  The guards who had let us in were not about to let us out.  As far as I know I am still sitting in the hallway near the exit wondering what I’m going to do now.

            Now whenever I talk to my wonderful wife about New Jersey, the gondola, or anything about this experience she claims no knowledge.  I do not believe I was alone, but I do feel I experienced all the events in these past chapters.

September 25, 2015, UW Hospital

                                        

                                                

CHAPTER 9

            Early in my stay at UW Hospital the nurses put me in a wheelchair to take me to a hardware store or Home Depot kind of store.  It also could have been a contractor’s supply store by the products I saw: tires, wheelbarrows and some big equipment I couldn’t identify.

            We were there quite awhile.  I wanted to get back to my room.  I was told we were at the hospital.  I know we were not at the hospital, as I could see other commercial buildings out the window.  Marilyn was there.  She does not remember the hardware store, so I guess she was busy worrying about me.  There were other people with us, so if you were there let me know so I’m not so confused.

            I remember seeing our friend Ron Syse in the next aisle.  He did not see me.

            The delay of getting me back to my room was frustrating.  All they would say is “You are in the hospital.”  A hospital does not look like a hardware store, unless they had me in the maintenance department warehouse.   Why would they do that?

PS added by Marilyn.  This vision occurred Friday, September 25.  A sweet little CNA – can’t remember her name now – wanted to bring Dick out to the old ER entrance which was on the third floor of the B Wing where Dick spent his first six days in the Trauma Life Center.  My sister Reeni was with us, and another nurse.  We stayed outside on the sidewalk for quite awhile, enjoying the sunshine.  I think the perception of the hardware store started as Dick was being wheeling down the corridor, and continued outside.  We definitely did not go beyond that hospital sidewalk!

                          February 15, 2016, Florence, AZ

        Positive proof of prayers and good medical attention!